Things have been unsettling lately at work. Rumours are flying around and it seems like everyone is on pins-and-needles and have things to hide. Not exactly the best environment to be in, but times like this do happen and life does go on and things still have to be done. I will focus on me and not pay attention to what other people are saying. I will do the best job I can and not take anything personally. A job, no matter how important is it or how enjoyable it is, is still just a job and at the end of the day, there is more to life than work. It is all a matter of priorities and how you set them.
It is at times like this that I am reminded how powerful words can be. It is so easy to forget that and wonder why we feel the way we feel after a conversation. We can choose to say good things or we can choose to say bad things. The things we say have a profound effect on the person we say it to and vice versa. Something I forget that and allow their words to affect my actions, my emotions and my thoughts. Usually something about the person or the issue hits a nerve and that is when I fall back into the emotional trap. There is something that just bugs me and sends my thoughts off which means that I am focusing attention and energy on something that I do not like which in turns make that something more prevalent in my life. I am getting better in the sense that I am catching myself more often when I allow my emotions to be manipulated. I then have to forcibly stop my thoughts and ask myself, “What are you doing and why are you doing it and what is it about the issue that bugs you so much?”
Instead, I am learning to not think and focus on negative thoughts or thoughts that make me feel negative. I am learning to analyze my thoughts and learning to think positive and focus on the positive aspects of the issues or situation. I am learning to not take things personally and to realize that there are times where I just do not have the power or the control to change the issue or situation and therefore I have to just let it go and move on. I have come a long way in a year and I feel better emotionally and mentally because of it. I have been encouraged to do meditation but I am not ready for that yet. I’m starting with yoga and we will see where I go from here.
I am really looking forward to my trip. It will allow me to focus on some issues that I want to work on that I know I cannot work on if I stay here. I am looking forward to being on my own, which I know will help me grow as a person. As much as I love my family and friends, I feel as if I am stuck in my life and I need new challenges to stimulate me. I feel as if I need a clean slate to begin the next chapter of my life and this trip will provide me with a totally blank canvas for me to work on. I know that this trip will be a trip of a lifetime and that it will be phenomenal in so many different ways. I cannot wait to begin.